Self-compassion comes up quite often in coaching. It seems to be something we’re getting more comfortable with, perhaps as a result of the experiences during this pandemic. Whether you’ve been navigating with relative ease or struggling to keep your head above water or somewhere in between, there likely have been many moments when you’ve known for sure that you’re doing the best you can. And that’s okay. It’s more than okay. Actually, it’s how we meet ourselves where we are, no matter the situation.
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading self-compassion researcher, “self-compassion involves responding in the same supportive and understanding way you would with a good friend when you have a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself.” She shares that there are three elements to self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. When you’re being kind to yourself, there’s less room for self-judgment; when you remember that all humans suffer and feel inadequate sometimes, it opens the door for meaningful connection with others; and when you see something happening in your life just as it is ~nothing more, nothing less~ you can hold space for compassion and step forward with calm and clarity.
Think of the last time someone was compassionate with you during a difficult time. What changed for you because of their love and understanding?
The next time you hear harsh words in your self-talk, hold up a stop sign for yourself, or perhaps start with a yield, and ask how you would be talking to a friend or loved one in the same situation. Then give yourself that same love and understanding.
Keep self-compassion close my friends. It makes all the difference.
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